R3. Because of a Boy by Anna DeStefano

(Woo, twitter! Eventually I'll post awesome things there, but for the moment I'm just getting used to it and feel like I'm just talking to myself. So follow me!? -M.R.)

Because of a Boy (Super Romance)Pages: 273

Pairing: nurse and lawyer
First Sentence: "What do you think you're doing?" Kate s [sic] asked the man standing beside her patient's hospital bed.
Climax: all the sex scenes faded to black

Review:
This book was fucking bullshit. Bullshit.

I've said before that I don't expect these romance novels to be masterpieces or anything. My understanding is that they're erotica for people who are too shy to realize that erotica is what they want. This wretched book doesn't even have any sex in it, though. Bullshit.

What it does have is a full cast of "heroes," which is also complete bullshit. Kate Rhodes, pediatric nurse, heroically trying to protect Dillon Digarro from his abusive father. Stephen Creighton, lawyer, heroically defending the innocence of Manny Digarro, Dillon's father, who is himself heroically on the run from a Colombian drug cartel that he was heroically working for to make enough money to get Dillon medical treatment for the rare genetic disease that makes it look like he's being abused. Others, who are all heroic in various capacities. Also, the book is heroically set in Atlanta.

The characterization in this novel is sort of stronger than in the two previous romance novels, except for all the "show, don't tell" going on. Also the fact that everyone's heroism gets in the way of everything else that they're supposed to be. Most of the characters are wounded in some way, but every single one of them deals with it by being, yes, heroic.

The actual plot has potential, at least by romnov standards. When Kate suspects that Dillon (her patient, who she also knows from a homeless shelter where she volunteers) is being abused, she reports it to the authorities. Manny goes to Stephen, who works for some legal aid place where they only defend innocent people or something, and everyone is very dedicated to serving justice. When it turns out that Dillon actually has a genetic disorder that makes his bones brittle and he isn't being abused after all, the charges are dropped, but he and his father are already on the run since the abuse report put them back on the radar of the Colombians. So Manny has taken Dillon to hide somewhere in the city. Kate and Stephen team up to find them and get Dillon back to the hospital and keep the family safe from the, er, drug dudes. As Kate and Stephen search for the Digarros, they realize that they're into one another, and that's basically the story right there, minus subplot.

It all hums along just fine, except that the search takes place over a period of less than a week, at the end of which Stephen proposes. And Kate accepts. Fucking bullshit.

The ridiculousness of the ending--I knew they'd get together, but not that they'd get married--combined with the goody-two-shoes qualities of almost every single character made this book absolutely infuriating.

I don't even know what else to say, other than "fucking bullshit," one more time.

Quotations:
But her voice.
It rushed through him with a zing of both recognition and awareness. As if she belonged in his doorway before dawn. As if there were no more natural place for her.

"How can you say that? Dillon--"
"Is an illegal immigrant." Stephen stepped closer and lowered his voice.
"What?" Kate's fresh scent reached out to him.

"I'll walk you out," a familiar voice said. Its husky timber tickled her frazzled nerves, like sensual fingers she wanted to feel everywhere.

A familiar blonde walked beside her, not looking so It's a Wonderful Life herself. (This is the most bizarre "pop culture" reference I've ever seen. -M.R.)

2 comments:

  1. KATE'S FRESH SCENT REACHED OUT TO HIM

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  2. I find it amusing that the closest you'll ever come to writing your own talented prose is by bashing another author who had the skill (not to mention the profit) to write multiple books, which by the way, have gained a loyal and large following.

    You're not a reviewer, you're a jealous toad!

    ReplyDelete