Here's a summary of all the stuff I tweeted while reading Fifty Shades of Grey in August and September. Apologies to those of you who are already following me on Twitter.

Have finally started reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Agh.
9:05 PM - 22 Aug 2012

Agh. Just noticed it's written in present tense. Agh. #50SoG
9:16 PM - 22 Aug 2012

"Penetrating gaze" lol #50SoG
9:20 PM - 22 Aug 2012

Are "long-fingered hands" a thing that women are into? I picture creepy spidery fingers when I read that. #50SoG
9:41 PM - 22 Aug 2012

Two chapters in and they haven't even kissed yet? What kind of romance novel is this?! #50SoG
9:49 PM - 22 Aug 2012

Is it weird that I still haven't figured out who'll be the D and who'll be the s? Also that no one's spoiled me about that yet? #50SoG
8:29 PM - 23 Aug 2012

No one says/thinks the word "crap" this often. #50SoG
8:32 PM - 23 Aug 2012

Ana is so ridiculously embarrassed about wanting like the most minor things. #50SoG
8:39 PM - 23 Aug 2012

"I wonder what it would be like to run my fingers through his hair--OH GOD HOW DARE I WHAT SORT OF DIRTY THOUGHT IS THAT" #50SoG
8:40 PM - 23 Aug 2012

"I'm used to getting my own way, Anastasia.. In all things." Ok spoiler alert he's the D. #50SoG
8:44 PM - 23 Aug 2012

"I inhale his clean, vital scent." Agh. #50SoG
8:49 PM - 23 Aug 2012

Not saying that people who don't drink or have sex during uni are bad or anything, but Ana's even more of a wet blanket than I am. #50SoG
9:01 PM - 23 Aug 2012

lololol Ana drunk dials Christian. Best part of this book so far. #50SoG
9:06 PM - 23 Aug 2012

I hope the T in CTG stands for Tiberius. No wait I don't. #50SoG
9:11 PM - 23 Aug 2012

"I mean, I'm all for pushing limits, but really this is beyond the pale." #50SoG
9:15 PM - 23 Aug 2012

Yeah right, not even a millionaire wouldn't have to wait for a glass of water at the bar. #50SoG
9:18 PM - 23 Aug 2012

Wow, these people in this book about sex are sure uncomfortable with their sexuality! #50SoG
9:22 PM - 23 Aug 2012

"He's my very own Christian Grey flavor popsicle." Agh. #50SoG
3:01 PM - 26 Aug 2012

9:30 PM - 28 Aug 2012

Reading through Christian and Ana's email exchanges is maybe the worst thing I've read in any novel ever. #50SoG
6:48 PM - 29 Aug 2012

Keep in mind "worst thing I've read" is always and forever short for "worst thing I've read with the exception of #FinnegansWake."
6:50 PM - 29 Aug 2012

Ana's stepdad person is watching a soccer game on tv. In America. NOT LIKELY. #50SoG
7:15 PM - 29 Aug 2012

Was it something I ate? Oh wait, no, it couldn't be that because I never eat anything for some reason. #50SoG
8:27 PM - 29 Aug 2012

"No one's ever said no to me before. And it's so - hot." I know this isn't meant to be rapey but it kinda is. #50SoG
7:44 PM - 7 Sep 2012

Somehow the characterization of Kate strikes me as the most abysmal thing about this book. #50SoG
7:50 PM - 7 Sep 2012

"My voice is quiet, unable to hide the anxiety in my voice." REALLY?! NO ONE caught that in the editing stage?! #50SoG
7:00 PM - 8 Sep 2012

The word "peek" appears 20 times in this book, usually in the phrase "I peek up at him." #50SoG
7:14 PM - 8 Sep 2012

You should not need to be "peeking" at a person you're in a relationship with/fucking. At least not that often. #50SoG
7:15 PM - 8 Sep 2012

#50SoG: He's got right under my skin... literally. Me: *cackles*
7:19 PM - 8 Sep 2012

Ana thinks she could be friends with a bohemian-looking black woman. I don't think Ana could be friends with anyone. #50SoG #TeamKate
7:22 PM - 8 Sep 2012

Ana: "To keep myself awake, I start a long stream of consciousness to Christian on my laptop." Me: Please God no. #50SoG
8:30 PM - 8 Sep 2012

"I gaze at my mom. She *is* on her fourth marriage. Maybe she does know something about men after all." Hahahaha what. #50SoG
8:36 PM - 8 Sep 2012

"Holy fuck, he's here." I don't know how anyone can find Christian Grey sexy when Ana is LITERALLY AFRAID OF HIM. #50SoG
8:53 PM - 8 Sep 2012

What does it say about me and/or about #50SoG that I think the amount of BDSM in it so far has been very minimal?
7:34 PM - 10 Sep 2012

People say things "dryly" no fewer than 24 times in this book. #50SoG
8:22 PM - 10 Sep 2012

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